When You Allow Yourself What You Deserve, You Attract What You Need

Sometimes we forget that we are the most important people in our own lives. Learning to say no when you don’t like something is not being selfish. You have to make yourself your priority.

We’re sure you know exactly what your loved ones need.

Every day you try to meet the needs of your partner, parents and children because you love them and you care about their lives.

However, do you worry about what you need every day?

Sometimes it’s much more complicated. In fact, many people think this way: “ If other people are okay, then I’m okay ”.

It is obvious that offering happiness to others, by surrounding them with our support and by covering all their needs, is something of the utmost importance.

However, we should never forget that we also deserve to allow ourselves certain things, to take care of ourselves, and to meet our own needs.

Taking advantage of our identity, our space and our time, by cultivating our self-esteem, are essential things.

In this article, we invite you to reflect on this subject.

My needs, your needs

Not long ago, we were talking to you about “Wendy Syndrome”.

Within popular psychology, the character of Wendy is associated with people who are characterized by the following behaviors:

• They pay attention to others at all times. Their couple and their family therefore take precedence over itself.
• They take care of others and meet all their needs.
  This behavior makes people who suffer from this syndrome happy. They therefore feel useful, and express their love in this way.
• However, there always comes a time when that person realizes that they are not receiving anything in return.
  His personal esteem is therefore weakened. She feels abandoned and is afraid of no longer being “useful” to others.

You may not have come to such extremes. However, in your daily life, you may experience the following things:

• You feel like you are trapped in something. You have your own job, but you also have to take care of household chores, your children, even your parents or one of your ancestors.
• Every day, those around you expect you to make the same efforts. And may your physical and emotional energy always be the same.
  You are indeed that person who takes care of others with tenderness and open-mindedness.
• Others don’t seem to realize that you don’t have time for yourself.
  They consider that you like to take care of others, without realizing that the time you give to others is taken from your personal time.
• In the evening, you complain that you don’t have a moment to give yourself. You then close your tired eyes, thinking that the next day will be just as exhausting.
• By adopting this type of behavior over a long period of time, you run the risk of plunging into a state of great anxiety.
  Your mind programs itself every day to take on all of these tasks, but your body cannot respond properly.
• Nervousness, fatigue and the high level of cortisol in your blood then prevent you from having adequate physical health. As for your emotional balance, it is totally disturbed.
  You also realize that you are locked in a kind of prison. You also don’t know how to escape.

What you deserve, what you need

“When you allow yourself what you deserve, you attract what you need”.

Repeat this phrase to yourself every day. We will explain how to achieve this.

Allowing yourself what you deserve is not being selfish

• Some people think that having good self-esteem is about being selfish and putting your needs before those of others. However, this is totally false.
• The first thing you need to tell yourself is that you deserve to be happy.
  If your life is dominated by stress and anxiety because you prioritize the needs of others over your own, you are going to fall apart.

How can you help if you feel bad about yourself?

Keep in mind that you have to give yourself what you deserve, and you have to be genuine with yourself.

• Every day you should devote at least 2 hours of your time to your own needs.
  Do something that makes you happy, that allows you to disconnect from reality, and that will help you in your quest for personal development.
• Learn to say no. Say out loud your thoughts, your needs, your opinions. It’s not being selfish, it’s being realistic.
  If you don’t want to do this favor for a friend or family member, tell her.
  If you don’t want to do what your partner asks you to do, tell them. Being sincere will take a lot of weight off your shoulders.

Enjoying what you deserve will set you free

• As soon as you start enjoying the things that you have allowed yourself to do, your life will change dramatically.
  Indeed, you will begin to recognize yourself as a whole person, because you will appreciate yourself at your true value.
  You will finally realize what you are worth and what you deserve.
• If others don’t realize your worth, show them who you really are.
  You are not only able to care for and love others.
  You are also able to take care of yourself and continue your personal development.

Start paying more attention to yourself today. Try to take more time for yourself, to do the things you enjoy, and to enrich your social relationships.

Keep in mind that you are the most important person in your life.