Wendy’s Syndrome: Caring For Others While Forgetting Yourself

When it comes to Wendy Syndrome, many people think that popular psychology’s description of this behavior is something uncommon, especially associated with previous generations, those of our mothers and grandmothers.

This vision is however quite far from reality.

The need that we have to take care of our partner, to give him everything and to prioritize his needs before ours, is something very common these days.

Many people make the mistake of loving their spouse too much, losing their self-esteem.

It is important to know how to maintain a limit and a certain balance.

We can worship our partner, our parents or our friends, but we should never fall into an extreme situation, in which we forget all our needs and we put aside our personal development.

In this article, we will talk about this problem, and explain the reality of Wendy syndrome.

Wendy Syndrome, the woman in the service of Peter Pan

First, we need to re-locate the personalities of Wendy Darling and Peter Pan, the two main characters in the world famous work of James M. Barrie.

Peter is a young child who refuses to grow up, who does not want to have the responsibilities of an adult, and who wishes to live a life of adventure, without ever entering the heavy sphere of stability and maturity.

Peter Pan refers to all these immature men, unable to take responsibility for their own life, but also that of others.

Wendy Darling is a young girl who, throughout the story, is Peter’s shadow. She takes care of cleaning her house, and taking care of “lost children”.

She gives everything for others, because that is how she is happy.

Discover the characteristics that define people with Wendy’s syndrome:

• They feel the need to take care of others  because this is the way they think they are making those around them happy.
• These women put their own needs ahead of those of others. They sacrifice their passions, and everything that is important to them.
• For these people, being caring is a way to offer love. They do it on their own, without anyone forcing them to take care of others.
  However, they get along very well with a partner with Peter Pan syndrome. That is to say with immature men, who let themselves be carried away, who do not want to be over-empowered, and who rely on their spouse to take care of everything, like the children for example.

• People with Wendy Syndrome fear two things: that the people they care for will stop needing them, and be left alone.
  The idea of ​​not having to take care of anyone plunges them into a sort of terror, because it is the only way they have found to be useful, and to offer love.
  It is because of this that they feel they are needed by society.
• Another important aspect of this syndrome must also be taken into account.
  While taking care of others is something that fills them with happiness, there always comes a time when they realize that the people they are caring for are manipulating them.
  They will therefore end up feeling frustrated and not valued. You have to be very careful with this type of behavior, as it can quickly drift into depression.

Take care of others, but also of yourself

It’s not about stopping caring for others and worrying about the people you love.

Your spouse, your family and especially your children need you. They are people who are part of your life, who identify you. And which are indisputable pillars of your daily life.

However, you should strive for balance in all of your personal relationships, and consider the following aspects:

• Remember to think about your personal growth. Have your own space and passions, defend your values ​​and take care of your self-esteem.
  If you give everything to others, you are going to feel empty. You will come to a point in your life when you will only feel dissatisfaction, frustration, and sadness.
  How can you be of service to those around you if you are unhappy yourself?
• If you are a proud and happy person, have good self-esteem and are self-sufficient, you will be able to bring your positive energy to everyone around you. You will fill them with emotions, and that is priceless.
• Take care of your partner, the person you love. However, keep in mind that you also deserve to be pampered, recognized and valued.
  It is a system of communicating vessels, in which no one should lose or win.
  If you feel happy taking care of others, remember that you also need to take care of yourself.
  Cultivate your happiness, because it is the only way that you will be able to offer happiness to others.