Verbal Violence: Examples And Recommendations

No one has the right to insult, belittle or denigrate another human being. Indeed, interpersonal relationships must be based on respect. Therefore, in cases of verbal abuse, limits should be set or the situation reported.

Verbal violence is, as the name suggests, a type of violence, aggression. That is why it should not be allowed. Indeed, action must be taken and it must be reported. As a type of emotional violence, it must be eradicated because it undermines the dignity of the person of the victim.

What is verbal abuse?

Verbal violence is defined as “ excessive use of language to undermine a person’s dignity and security through insults or humiliations, sudden or repeated ”.

The same definition tells us that it can take many forms. That is, it could be an insult, a rude comment, etc. In this way, the dignity and self-esteem of the abused person is affected by the abuser, who considers that he has the “authority” or the “privilege” to be able to attack another human being. this way.

Verbal abuse, as a type of emotional abuse, can occur in any environment and affect any person. In this sense, it can occur in children, adolescents, adults or the elderly. In addition, it can occur in different contexts, for example with a partner, with friends, at work, etc.

What does verbal abuse include?

Verbal abuse does not leave bruises or injuries, but it is also a type of abuse and assault. However, it is more difficult to detect.

It can include:

• Aggressive outbursts (insults and humiliations)
• Accusations
• Making the other person feel guilty
• Humiliating or rude judgments and criticisms
• Minimization, devaluation of the victim
• Contempt
• Order, demand, excessive demands, cries
• Threat
• Humiliating or degrading nicknames

Sometimes we can all lose our temper and say things we don’t mean. However, we must reflect and ask forgiveness by acknowledging the harm done to the other person. However, verbal abuse is a repeated and conscious practice of humiliating and denigrating the other person whom the abuser considers inferior.

Examples of verbal abuse

Here are some examples :

• In the couple: a partner “orders” things instead of asking for them. He also shouts arrogantly, humiliating the other. The abuser sees the other person as being of service and worthless. He also considers that it is the victim’s obligation to “serve” him.
• In a group of friends: the abuser uses humiliating and hurtful nicknames. He may even threaten or belittle you in front of everyone
• At work: The boss gives orders using rude comments – even in front of other co-workers – to refer to a worker or their job. There is humiliation in public or in private. His criticism is constant, humiliating and not constructive
• The elderly: for example, a caregiver insults the elderly person and orders them to do things without respecting them, putting them down and humiliating them
• In parent-child relationships: the child is given ridiculous nicknames, insulted or demeaned by being told that he does not know how to do anything or that he is useless. In the case of children, in particular, the traces left by abuse can be carried over to adulthood.

What to do ?

The first step is to recognize that verbal abuse exists. Indeed, the main thing is to identify the problem because, if we don’t do it, there is nothing we can do about it either.

Second, limits must be set. Indeed, these limits should exist even before the relationship is born, so that the abuser understands that he does not have the privilege or the right to humiliate.

On the other hand, if setting limits does not end the abuse, it is time to seek help, which will depend on the extent of the abuse. So, for example, if verbal abuse occurs within the couple, a therapist or other trusted person could intervene. If there is any abuse, always report it.

However, if verbal abuse occurs between minors at school, the victim should let the school and parents know so that the anti-bullying protocol can be implemented.

Either way, asking for help or making a report is definitely the most important step. It is not easy, indeed, and often the victim, due to his low self-esteem, has created a relationship of dependence with the aggressor.

Other times, fear of the consequences prevents people who suffer from abuse from reporting it or seeking help. This is what gives the aggressor so much weight (for example, the boss threatens to fire him).

The most important and fundamental step, therefore, is to lose your fear and report the abuse. Only then will they stop and the victim can finally regain their self-esteem and dignity.