Types Of Toxic Families And Their Specific Characteristics

In most cases, in toxic families, it is the children who are the losers, because they cannot play their role as children.

Toxic families are like small islands with a house in the center, full of conflict, authority, dysfunctional dynamics that affect all of its members.

Today, the term “toxicity” is a popular concept. We’ve all heard and used phrases like “my relationship is toxic” or “in my job I have a toxic coworker”.

Well, it should be noted that this qualification does not meet any clinical description. There is no psychological manual that defines it, nor the pathology or disorder associated with this word.

However, its popular usage perfectly describes a whole set of processes that go very well with the word toxicity.

But why? There are people who, because of their personality, behavior or way of communicating, hurt, destroy balance, motivation and self-esteem.

Likewise, a phenomenon that is not talked about much either is the one that occurs in the home, between these four walls where families, these small social groups, maintain relationships and bonds with each other for so-called take care of themselves, love each other, raise children and build a happy future.

However, this does not always follow an immutable rule. The family is a very closed institution where events occur which are not always positive.

So much so that it would undoubtedly be necessary to explore this question in greater depth, and to describe the types of toxic families and their specific dynamics.

Types of toxic families

Psychologists and experts in family dynamics remind us that instead of talking about toxic families, we should rather say: “toxic parents”.

Both the father and the mother hold a position of power in a family. Their personality style will in one way or another influence the rest of the inhabitants of the family. Whether it’s children or even other dependents like grandparents.

The topic of “toxicity” is also not reduced to a single family member.

Sometimes the couple’s relationship has a negative impact on those around them. This constantly creates an atmosphere full of tension, skin-deep emotions and a high level of anxiety.

Now let’s see what types of toxic families are.

Manipulative, narcissistic and low-tolerance families

There are family environments where the focus is on the dysfunction of a limb with a narcissistic and manipulative profile.

• It is common for this type of personality to constantly create situations where they can exercise their authority. These are families where freedoms and respect are restricted and where there is very little tolerance.
• Living this way comes at a high psychological cost. Children do not feel listened to or respected, and develop low self-esteem, or even inappropriate behaviors, when wanting to react to this toxic and negative power figure.

Immature parents and children who care for their parents

In other types of toxic families, one or even both parents are very immature on all levels.

• Their weak sense of responsibility, their lack of interest, their carelessness or poor control of their impulses make them unreliable people.
• It is common in this case for children to take on adult responsibilities very early on. It is neither appropriate nor healthy for their development.

Children must live their children’s lives, they must not grow up too fast.

Parents who project their frustrations onto others

There is no worse psychological weapon than a frustration which seeks its victims. In fact, the frustrated father or mother expressing their guilt, fears or failures towards the children or the partner is quite common and devastating.

All these negative dynamics end up leaving their mark. So few things can be as trying as those children who are forced to make their parents’ dreams come true or be the butt of their frustration.

Parents who use children to oppose their spouse

There are times when one of the parents can “instrumentalize” the children and use them to attack the spouse.

• These are situations that often occur in divorce proceedings, but also on a daily basis. Each tries to get the children’s attention to join one parent against the other. These are blackmailing and very destructive dynamics in the minds of children.

The causes that define toxic families

Knowing the origin of the problem of these toxic or dysfunctional families can undoubtedly serve as a starting point in the search for changes or adaptation strategies to find a new harmony and a good dynamic.

However, it is not always easy. The emotional cost is usually high.

Plus, changes don’t just happen overnight. If, for example, we have become accustomed to communicating inappropriately or even not communicating with our own at all.

However, no effort is wasted to regain a better coexistence, respect and happiness for parents and children.

• Discover the 5 mistakes discerning parents make

Now let’s see which processes are usually at the origin of toxic families:

• Psychological disorders, or an addiction problem of one of the family members.
• Abuse of power or authoritarian style.
• Parents who are absent or who neglect their responsibilities.
• Lack of affection or weak attachment.
• Physical or psychological abuse.
• Poor communication style, either for lack of ability, personality or interest.
• A lack of consistency, or a lack of reliability on the part of one of the parents.
• Low self-esteem in the father or mother.
• The high level of requirement and the obligation for the spouse or children to meet the expectations of the father or mother.

To conclude. It is possible that some of us have identified with some of these situations.

Therefore, and as much as possible, let’s try to do our best to create a better environment, better family relationships.

However, we must be aware that the impact of such a relationship on us is very large and negative. We must make strong decisions to safeguard our emotional balance and our dignity.