How Can We Be Close To Our Children In Order To Be Able To Advise Them?

One of the bases of the closeness that we can achieve with our children to support and advise them is effective and loving communication, in addition to the time we give them. You will learn more about it in this article.

Educating our children to develop their full potential and play their role in society in the best way is not an easy task. For this we must learn to relate to our children. In this way, we can advise them and prevent them, as much as possible, from making our mistakes.

If we do not learn to establish a certain closeness with them, when we want to give them advice or help them without them asking us, they will most likely reject us and may end this attempted approach. in a discussion. Therefore, it is important to maintain good communication with our children.

We must learn to communicate as a family, to express our thoughts adequately, to convey and empathize with the feelings of our children. And from there, promote union based on the foundations of love and affection.

It is essential to learn how to communicate with our children when they are small. If we don’t devote time to them or create space for conversation during youth, it is unlikely that we will be able to engage in honest and productive dialogues with them when they reach adolescence.

It will then be very difficult for us to know what is happening to them, what they are going through, what they are going through in their daily life.

Tips for getting closer to our children

• If we have several children, the ideal is to speak with each one separately, dedicating their own space to them. This should be done on a regular basis.
• When they are little, playing with them is a great way to come together emotionally. The game is the most attractive activity. So when we play with our children, they notice and feel our interest as parents in them and their activities.
• Watching a movie as a family allows us to share things in common with our children. In addition, it gives them the opportunity to discuss with us what they thought of what they saw and to hear their views. To know what they think, how they see things, their personality.
• In addition, we should hug, cuddle and stroke our children. We must not lose physical contact. It is fundamental to strengthen the emotional bond, which brings us closer to them.
• We need to be warm and empathetic when talking with our children. The affection that we transmit to them by speaking with them through our tone of voice, our words and our gestures is decisive for the communication to be natural and warm. Also, we should try to “put ourselves in their shoes”, that is, try to feel what they are feeling; in other words, be empathetic.
• We must prioritize the moments to share with the family. The time they spend watching TV or playing video games should be short. Otherwise they will be easily isolated.
• We need to give our children valuable gifts, such as books and games that, in addition to developing their abilities, make them play together, thus creating an instant emotional connection.

Other important tips for getting closer to our children

• Promote family meals at least twice a week. Weekend dinners or lunches help educate and unite the family. In addition, it is important that our children collaborate in the preparation of meals. This will not only teach them how to cook, but also allow them to develop the value of collaboration. These moments bring people together and unite a lot.

• It is important to plan trips or family outings to spend time together and have new experiences. It also unites the family a lot.
• Teaching our children sports activities such as skating, cycling or swimming is a valuable experience for them, which also strengthens the bond between parents and children.

What we shouldn’t do with our children

• Generalizing and saying that they always do something wrong or that they never do anything right lowers their self-esteem. With such statements, our children may come to believe that they are really good for nothing.
• Likewise, ridicule them or use sarcasm and irony, believing that it will not affect them because we are “playing”. In reality, it more than entertains them, it will make them feel inferior and humiliated.
• Another thing we shouldn’t be doing is giving them bossy orders over and over whether our kids have objections or not. This creates in them the feeling that we do not understand them and that they must follow the orders of the adults without being able to question them under any circumstances.
• Neither should we yell at them and discuss issues that have already been resolved that are unrelated to those present. Likewise, disapproving looks usually hinder dialogue with our children.

• On the other hand, labeling them by turning negative behavior into a personality trait definitely causes their children to reject their parents altogether.
• We must not discredit our children either. We should speak with them privately and appropriately, without offending them. If we don’t act that way, all we will gain is their distance.

Reflection

The best thing we can do as parents is to try to maintain balance when addressing our children. It is important to keep in mind that if we are still upset, it will be very difficult for us to reason with them confidently.

Having discussions with our children in this negative emotional state will lead us to express ourselves inappropriately, to say words that we never wanted to say. If we allow this to happen to us, our children will be more closed to our company, and even more closed to our advice.